There Is Too Much Pain and Suffering

I can hardly see my computer screen for the tears.  Suffering seems rampant; needless suffering caused by inexcusable actions by an increasing number of people. 

I have just finished reading the entire 12-page letter written by the victim of the outrageous rape committed by Brock Turner, the Stanford University student, who felt privilege entitled him to brutalize a woman without penalty.  In my opinion, every male student entering any college should be required to read this letter and be tested on its contents.  Perhaps female students would be well served to do the same.  No, it will not stop the abuses, but it may bring a greater degree of sensitivity to what happens when alcohol enters the equation.  And, no, every rape is not the result of alcohol abuse.

For me, the anger I feel about the context of privilege versus victim makes me want to scream along with the victim of Brock Turner.  (Every time I type his name it seems an extra letter accidentally gets appropriately added:  Brock Turdner.)

To the pain and suffering all have experienced in this ordeal, we then add the ridiculous six-month sentence handed down by Judge Aaron Persky!  Certainly, one must not cause permanent damage to a star swimming athlete’s future.  After all, as Brock’s father so succinctly noted:  “That is a steep price to pay for 20 minutes of action out of his 20 plus years of life.”

Even one of the juror’s, a person who recently became a US citizen after living in this country for 30 years, wrote the judge regarding the relative light sentence compared to the severity of the crime.

There is too much pain and suffering.

And this is but one of the terrible events we are facing in what seems like a daily assault on our senses.  I do not need to list them here.  We all know what they are.  When are we going to “re-civilize” our society?  It is not enough for outrage to last a day or two.  We must return to teaching responsibility and being responsible.  The personification of “privilege” as a right will never be right.  We must respect and honor the dignity of EVERY PERSON.  Women are not sex objects to be fondled and raped because a male feels privileged to do so.  Minorities, of all types, are human beings to be respected for their beliefs and cultural practices.  I could go on and on with what we all know are the attitudes that we must recover and express if we are to remain human.

There is too much pain and suffering!

Please!  Please help to heal our hearts, minds and souls.

Getting Beyond “I don’t WANT to.”

A number of weeks ago a friend sent me a saying she liked and thought I might.  It was:

I don’t WANT to,

I don’t HAVE to,

You can’t MAKE me . . .

I’M RETIRED!!!

Maybe it was because it resonated with my frame of mind at the time, but I DID like it.  In fact, I immediately made it into a small poster, printed it and posted it on the wall in front of my computer where I saw it every time I was at the keyboard.

One of the reasons it resonated with me at the time was the fact of the growing discord in our societal “conversations.”  It seemed to me no one was listening to anyone else.  We each were shouting our opinions as though we were the only voice that counted. These were not only the voices of individuals, family members and friends, but also of the media and the politicians. The fact is that they had long since ceased to be “conversations” and were, for the most part, simply diatribes of complaint and finger-pointing.  I definitely didn’t WANT to continue being part of that frustration, but I was!

Then, this morning I received one of those innocuous email forwards.  At first I thought, “Here’s another one!”  The email referred the reader to a blog page, “Confessions of A Confetti Head.”  The first paragraph got me.

Where does REAL personal change come from? You know, the kind that puts you into a tailspin with profound “AHAs.” The kind that after you come back to Earth, you say, “WOW! That was AMAZING!” and from that moment on, you are different. You are different in ways that you may have struggled with for years, or even your entire life.

As I read on I discovered that the author had many degrees, had become certified in many human potential techniques, and yet still felt a distinct schism in her psyche.  With all she knew about living and how well qualified she felt to live life fully, she also “struggled with a dual experience of myself as dynamic and capable on one hand and invisible, unworthy, and less than on the other hand.”   I could also identify with those feelings of a strange inadequacy to really make a difference, to be heard above the din of angry confrontation and lack of civility. Who wants to listen to me?  (Also, who do I want to listen to?)

Personally, I have found myself echoing and believing the “I don’t want to” attitude about life.   What’s the use, I thought.  It is not a pleasant place to be when that is the way one thinks and feels about life.  In that place you feel like a voice crying in the wilderness, hoping the deaf will hear and the blind will see.  They don’t and they won’t as long as we cannot respect and accept our differences.  If this country stands for anything, it is the rights of each of us to be whom we are, and to recognize that right in every other American.  Remember, we ALL came from somewhere else (except for the Native Americans).

Somehow, I thought to myself, I have to get beyond these feelings of not wanting to participate in a world gone crazy.  I cannot hide away in a cave (as much as I would like to at times) and pretend there is nothing to be done, no way to make things better.  I do know I cannot change anyone else.  Great gravy!  It’s almost impossible to change myself.  What in the world makes me think I should even want to try to change anyone else?

I cannot help but remember an experience I had years ago that provided a profound example of what can happen when one decides to change his/her attitude.  I had felt deeply hurt by a situation that occurred.  I felt so angry that I defiantly told myself I didn’t even want to want forgive the other person.  Over a period of time working on that situation I came to a point where I realized I wanted to want to forgive the person.  Finally, I wanted to.  At last, after much work in prayer an objectively discussing the problem with those whose opinions I valued, I did forgive!  In that moment I was totally free from the negative power of the original event.

I wish I could say that overcoming that situation took me beyond ever feeling hurt again or angry and unforgiving.  It didn’t.  Life is not a matter of overcoming one situation and forever being free of challenges.  The most we can expect from meeting a challenge is to understand the process fully enough to use that knowledge to meet subsequent challenges. 

There is only one way, really, to get beyond “I don’t WANT to”.  You have to WANT to.  That is where real personal and societal change will come from.  It is my hope that our society will get beyond the anger and frustration that so many feel.  I suspect that once the midterm elections are over and the politicians have little more to gain from milking the adversity to their advantage that things will settle down for a month or so.  Of course, then the REAL election effort begins and we can return to accusing one party or the other of misleading us, being dishonest, baiting the divisive tendencies in those subject to such efforts and generally further destabilizing our sense of connectedness.  You see where this is going, right?

High Noon At the OK Corral

Okay, I’ve had it with the ultra conservative gun enthusiasts in this country!

As we commemorate the 10th anniversary of the Columbine School shootings and the Virginia Campus killing fields, and the current mass killings, I find it unbelievable that we are still arguing about an individual’s right to arm him/herself to the teeth just because the Constitution is vague enough to allow unending interpretation.

Over the years I have had two significant arguments (shall we say politely, discussions?) with other persons about the foolishness of thinking you “protect” yourself and your family by owning a gun. In both cases my discussion partner certainly had above average intelligence and in every other way seemed a “normal” and easy going individual. The first discussion came at the time of our last economic downturn in the 80’s. At that time the “smart” folks were buying gold and silver so that they would have a universally accepted medium of exchange when civil unrest destroyed the social and economic structure of the country. You may not remember the Hunt brothers’ efforts to corner the silver market, which sent the price sky high. The effort, which ultimately failed, left many people facing the rapid decline in the value of the silver they bought. For the record, I also bought some silver at the time. Last year, as prices began to increase toward the price I originally paid for it, I sold it along with some other silver coins and bought a computer.

The other discussion came a couple of years ago in the context of discussing hypothetically the possibility of food riots that might come about through scenarios such as climate change and global warming when whole segments of the world’s agricultural geography turned to deserts.

In both of these discussions my position was and still is, that under such conditions there would be no ultimate positive outcome because you owned a gun. Truly, living by the sword (gun) leads to dying by the sword (gun). Anarchy, rioting, mutual self-destruction would be the only possible outcome. There will always be someone with a bigger gun or more “friends” in his/her gang to outshoot you and take over your supplies.

What is my proposal for dealing with this stupid gun issue? I propose arming every man, woman and child with an AK-47. Maybe two or three for each of them. Then let’s all gather at our own OK Corral in Death Valley in multiple circles and shoot each other DEAD! The winner in each circle forms with other “winners” in yet more circles so they can all shoot each other. This continues until there is no one left. No, there won’t be any survivors! With that much gunfire everyone sooner or later will be wounded mortally. Hooray! Now the earth can return to its pristine beauty and peace (after a time of regeneration) without the interference from the species supposedly at the top of the food chain, the most intelligent and superior being—the human.

Maybe there is another way. I believe there is, of course. Unfortunately, I am losing my faith in humanity’s ability to follow the course of action necessary to prevent the chaos and destruction that would ultimately come from the over-arming of society. I even ask, “What society?” A society that depends upon gun ownership for survival has already failed to survive. Don’t even bother to put up the issue of hunting. It is a diversion from facing the utter lack of credibility that most gun owners display with that argument.

It is at this point my argument turns to the metaphysical arena. I believe in the eternality of life. For me there is no possible escape from living. There may be many times of change such as we witness in so-called death. I believe there has always been life. It didn’t start with some Creation Myth. Those stories serve only as our human attempt to explain how everything got started. For some reason it seems impossible for us to simply keep moving forward without having to explain how we got started. I believe we are engaged in an eternal learning experience and that we have multiple life opportunities in the process of becoming the ultimate expression the highest and best that is possible.

I believe we have consciousness capable of accomplishing anything, and doing so with love, acceptance of differences, support of sustainable living practices and with the ability to sing and dance together. My heart aches that I have not danced enough! My feet still stumble at the prospect of actually dancing, but I promise to seek to always dance in my mind and heart with anyone willing to share the experience with me.

It is incumbent upon each of us to find positive ways of thinking and living. We must begin to live trustworthy lives, express the highest integrity in our dealings with others, and stop the futile What’s in it for me? attitude that disengages us from cooperative efforts and separates us from others. It would be nice if simply thinking about being a better person would make it so, but it doesn’t work that way.

Stone by stone a wall is made,
And each stone must lie square.
Petal by petal a rose unfolds,
And each petal must be fair.

Little by little a faith is built,
And day by day it grows;
Stronger at last than the wall of stone
And lovelier than the rose.
-- Author Unknown

Perhaps, if we honestly make the effort, we can find the strength to live by faith instead of the gun.