Every once in awhile it seems to be necessary to take some time off from whatever we have been doing so that we might assess those things and re-evaluate how they contribute to our lives. There is a cumulative effect of events in our lives like the rolling waves of the ocean hitting the shore. Slowly, wave-by-wave, the shoreline is changed. In quieter times the sands are built up, the beach becomes softer and enjoyable. In stormy times the beach erodes exposing buried rocks and logs and all sorts of things formerly unseen. Life is like that. Every day the waves of events crash upon the shores of our being and we discover the changes that are occurring. We cannot, do not, fight the onslaught of the waves because we understand the natural process. However, we often do attempt to fight the onslaught of events in our lives that begin to expose aspects of our selves that have been covered by the quieter times. That fight is often futile.
I have come to a point where I am beginning to observe my life differently. I am raising new questions about who I am and how I got to where I am. I am trying to assess and re-evaluate the events of my life for any new insights I might find as the waves first build and then erode the features that I consider to be the shores of my being. This review includes not only the examination of my beliefs, thoughts, feelings and actions, but also what I have observed in the character and behaviors of others in my life who have also contributed in some way to my view of self.
This might be a major effort on my part, at least it seems that way to me from my current perspective. Because I firmly believe that I need this time of reflection and introspection, I intend to drop out for awhile and go back to some physical places that have served as a source of energy and insight in the past. I expect to spend time on the beaches where I have over the years watched the tides bring dramatic change to the shores. I hope to let those tides bring a fresh vision of who I am and what I am here to do in my remaining time in this life experience.
I have no idea of how much time I need. It may be a day. It may be a month. It may even be forever! All I know is that until I can wrap my mind and heart around this thing I call my life I am in no condition to be offering supposed insights to others. So, this will be my last posting until the lightening strikes in such a way that it is clear to me that I have learned something worth talking about.
I appreciate the interest of those of you who have followed LifeCentering. I hope to be back with a renewed view of life and maybe more certainty regarding what it is all about!
Before I even posted this article, I decided to check out from the library a book that has come to my attention through two different sources recently: Women Who Run With Wolves, by Clarissa Pinkola Estes. I had barely read the cover notes and introduction when I realized my journey had begun! The deep sense of emotional disorientation and the search of singing over the bones has revealed a beginning point that resonated with an inner search that has been tickling my attention for some time. I immediately ordered a copy of the book for myself. I think you will hear much more about this when I return!