I have not written an article for my LifeCentering blog for some time now. In fact, on several occasions I have felt I should write one indicating it was the “last word.” Obviously, the last word has not been written—yet.
I am writing this on Mothers’ Day 2016, and my heart is filled with the emotions of memories of my Mom. She made her transition one month short of her 100th birthday in 2002. However, it is not simply memories of her that sparked this article.
For many, memories of our loved ones who have gone beyond our physical site are often tinged with thoughts of things we might have done differently regarding our interactions. Sadly, these retrospectives can tend to leave us feeling we did not do enough, or that “unfinished” business should have been taken care of before they left.
Today, I find myself thinking of current situations in the lives of others I know for whom I am aware there is “unfinished” business that it would be well to take care of while it is still possible to do so. Back in November 2014 I wrote an article detailing how I had waited too long to make amends to my sister for a misunderstanding that we had. See the article here:
It is often very difficult, especially after much time has passed, to make amends to someone we may have offended or hurt in some manner. Let me assure you the difficulty one faces when the amends are NOT made in time is much worse to deal with emotionally. There is a good reason Twelve Step Support groups emphasize the importance of making amends (Step Nine). It is the step that offers an opportunity to become resolved about past actions that have been hurtful or limiting in some way to others. When we move toward reconciliation we are saying, “My life is not fully in order as long as I have not forgiven others or asked forgiveness from them.” Further, it brings us clearly face to face with what stands in the way of our healing and happiness. Our action in making amends is what is important. What the person to whom we offer our amends does is not our business. Our business is taking care of OUR actions and freeing ourselves of the burden of regret and perhaps even shame.
So, on this Mothers’ Day I hope all of us who are reminiscing about our mothers will use the time to celebrate all they have done for us. And should there happen to be some bit of unfinished business in the relationship, now is the time to do what you can to resolve it. Free yourself and your mother (or whomever else may need it) from anything that stands in the way of healing. Bless you, Mother!