Christmas Bells Are Ringing!

So, today I tune my Internet radio to Christmas music while I work at my computer. It is a bit early for me, but somehow I just felt in the mood. Besides, it may help get the Christmas Spirit flowing into everything I do between now and the New Year.

Thanksgiving this year was a personal feast, as I noted in my last blog entry. I got through the meal without seriously over eating and managed to prepare portions such that only the turkey breast had to be delivered to the freezer in packages for later sandwiches or hot turkey and gravy meals. Well managed if I do say so myself!

But back to Christmas. To all who read this entry please consider this my Christmas card to you. Each year the list of “snail” mail cards gets shorter. I am not sure how many will go out this year. In some ways, the older we get the more long-time friends begin to make their move on in life. Perhaps that is why the “seasonal blues” strike so many of us. At this time of the year when gathering with family and friends is so important to many of us, it becomes clear that some of those family members and friends are no longer with us physically.

What is particularly interesting to me, however, is that since opening a Facebook account, friends from out of the past have found me, or I have found them. In some ways this is a wonderful compensation for the loss of those who have moved on. I hope that any of you who may be feeling the onset of the seasonal blues, will take heart in the realization that you are loved and supported by many folks you may have thought were no longer aware of you. Love is out there in their hearts as they remember you and the impact you had on their lives. I certainly have experienced this in the reconnection with friends with whom I shared an important period of my life many years ago. My experience has convinced me that once our paths have crossed, we are together forever in some way. Throughout this holiday season it is a good time to reconnect in our mind and heart with those who have touched our lives in some way. As you send out your love to those who come to mind, that love will multiply as it returns to bless you.

Wow! It is going to be a great month enjoying the music, special programs, and most all your friendship! Enjoy!

The Rest of the Story

In my last blog entry I lamented the “dark spaces” of the Internet in regard to the various social networks and the potential for anonymously spreading hurtful, hateful messages about others. Now, for the rest of the story.

After the previous post I remembered that I recently had a flurry of Facebook “friend” requests. Several of these were from former co-workers and even a former manager from where I worked prior to retiring. I responded with, “Hi! How are you? It is good to touch base again!” I thought to myself, “Gee, it is nice to be remembered!” Then I thought of the special friends with whom I carry on a frequent exchange of emails. All of these positive experiences came through the same Internet that has offered up some of the less satisfying content.

For me, just reviewing the past friendships with co-workers was richly satisfying. I hadn’t heard from them for six years and suddenly I am a “friend” again. I also had the opportunity to see who some of their other friends are. This is one of those simple acts of kindness that it is so easy to gloss over as just ordinary. I am very fortunate to have people in my life who show caring for one another and include me in that circle of sharing.

Honestly, I probably won’t have an active exchange with some of the folks out of the past, since I do not spend much time in the social networks, but that is not the point for me. What I gained from these contacts is something I too often forget about myself: I am a person some other people are happy to know! For a few brief moments I got away from thinking I am alone out here. Then there is the whole blogasphere of contacts that I have. Some of these I initiated and some came to me. And what about such sites as Wikipedia? Good heavens, there isn’t anything you cannot find out about there from an old quote you cannot source to the meaning of words you never heard of before. If all else fails, there is Google!

So, the rest of the story is about how rich our environment has become thanks to the Internet. I would not want my readers to think my head is in the sand, unaware of that tremendous resource. Happy hunting and may all your contacts be powerful reminders of your value to yourself and others.

My Way

Over the past several years, since I retired from working for someone else, I have had adequate time to consider personally the process of change that comes with aging. Don’t get me wrong. I do not feel or consider myself to be “old,” but the availability of time itself has provided the opportunity to become aware of certain changes. Also, as many do at this time of life, I have given thought to the events of my life, particularly those I now feel I might have handled in a different way.

Being a fan of the music of Frank Sinatra, I thought of one of the songs he recorded, My Way1. In that song he offers a review of life many of us could identify with. Some of the words follow.

And now the end is near;
And so I face the final curtain.
My friend, I’ll say it clear,
I’ll state my case, of which I’m certain.

I’ve lived a life that’s full.
I’ve traveled each and every highway;
And more, much more than this,
I did it my way.

Of course, there are many ways to look at the words of the song. I do not think of it as bravado, but rather a reflection of a person seeking to believe he balanced his life and in the end comes out a victor and not a victim. I have to admit to realizing that I am where I am because of my choices through the years. I realize that I am one who has done it my way.

I used to think that if I liked where I am and felt good about myself, then whatever road it took to get me here was okay. I still believe that to some degree, but now I realize that being a bull in a china shop is probably not okay, even if you get out with only a few broken items. As I use this time of reflection to assess my journey, I have to admit there is sadness about some of the paths I have taken, and about some of the losses along the way. There are people no longer in my life that I used to care about a lot. Somewhere along the way we came to a juncture and they took the other path. I wonder, could I have done something differently at that point that would have done more to maintain our friendship even though we chose different paths? On the other hand there are those with whom the friendship has stood the test of many storms.

Ultimately, I believe, one who only does it his or her way will be a person alone. It is not necessarily difficult to be alone, but it is another thing to be lonely. I suspect that if you are alone long enough you will become lonely. If you get to the stage of loneliness, it is much more difficult to reintegrate socially. It is easier to find reasons why being alone is okay. Though I spend most of my time comfortably ensconced in my “nest,” I did not really feel lonely or lose my desire to communicate with others and to write. Of course, I didn’t have to go outside for that!

What I find appealing about writing is that I still feel a sense of discovery as new ways of thinking about things emerge from my consciousness and end up on the page before me. Truly, there is nothing new under the sun, as the saying goes, but personal discovery of an idea or concept or of a new way of looking at life stimulates my being and creative juices begin to flow again. Then I realize how wonderful it is to be alive! How satisfying it is to feel the very spirit of life, love and wisdom filling my day with a sense of productivity.

As I look back upon my life from the vantage point of my current years, I realize that part of living life my way has included honoring the values that I have discovered are important in making me the person that I am. In the final analysis, perhaps it is not so bad that I chose somewhere along the line of my life travels to do it my way. Again,

Regrets, I’ve had a few;
But then again, too few to mention.
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption.

(This is an excerpt from the complete article written for my planned upcoming book with the working title: Moments.)

1 (P. Anka, J. Revaux, G. Thibault, C. Frankois) [Recorded December 30, 1968, Hollywood]