Thoughts

I wish that I could write as I think I once did.  At least I believe I wrote moderately well. 

My heart has much to say, but the part of me that put words and phrases together, the brain, does not perform its task quite as fluently these days. 

For the most part, since it is my heart that desires to speak, it usually centers on some aspect of love.  That feels like an irony for me.  I have a very deep sense of love and caring, yet I realize that I often do not let it show by the way I act.  Indeed, I realize a selfishness in my love.  It is too often, somewhat unconsciously, directed toward my own interests.  How I care for others is not diminished, yet because my actions often fall short of adequate expression, I feel I am in fact leaving them alone and uncared for.

These thoughts tumbled from my heart just now as I was reading Maria Popova’s latest post in her newsletter, “Brain Pickings.” The article shared thoughts from poet/philosopher David Whyte about friendship, love and heartbreak. [1] While most of us tend to view these as separate feelings, he brings them together as one pathway in life. Heartbreak seems the most devastating of the three elements.  So much pain oozes from it for those immersed in it.

Ms. Popova introduces Whyte’s thoughts thusly:

“Stripped of the unnecessary negative judgments we impose upon it, heartbreak is simply a fathometer for the depth of our desire — for a person, for an accomplishment, for belonging to the world and its various strata of satisfaction. Whyte captures this elegantly:”

Realizing its inescapable nature, we can see heartbreak not as the end of the road or the cessation of hope but as the close embrace of the essence of what we have wanted or are about to lose.

[…]

Heartbreak asks us not to look for an alternative path, because there is no alternative path. It is an introduction to what we love and have loved, an inescapable and often beautiful question, something and someone that has been with us all along, asking us to be ready for the ultimate letting go.

It would seem that to love we are inviting heartbreak, this disappointment and frustration that comes when we feel unfulfilled, when we appear to lose what we once had.  How can we reconcile this apparent loss?  For me, my experience of loss is considering the “what ifs” of life.  What if I had only done this?  What if I had not acted this way? What if I had chosen differently? What if I loved regardless of eventual outcomes?

I have not yet answered the questions.  I am certain there are possible answers, solutions, ways to act.

What if I could write as I once did?

---

[1] https://www.brainpickings.org/2015/04/29/david-whyte-consolations-words/?mc_cid=1047338dc7&mc_eid=b032a5ca74

My Long-Time Friend

I have a long-time friend whom I met (in this lifetime) back in the early 1980s.  We were married for ten years and have now been divorced for many years.  Shawn is one of those persons in life that once you meet you know you have always known her and will always travel with her through life times, no matter what events draw you close or tear you asunder. With deep passion we loved and with great heartbreak we fell apart.  But we have remained friends through it all.

This dearest of friends is now engaged in a struggle with cancer, among other health  challenges.  Her vital spirit is not dampened, but fear abounds as one might imagine.  She recently visited me because she felt I needed support.  She knew I was on the down side of depression.  She is like that.  She always knows.  And I always know about her.  I must share that I hurt so deeply for her and the pain and fear she is experiencing.  I can only do what I know to do and that is to love her and pray for her without end.

I can get all "metaphysical" about the philosophy of healing.  I can say that healing is the reality even
if the body is released and soul moves on.  For me, right now, even knowing that is little comfort.  I
share that belief with Shawn, but I know how hard it is to hear it--experience it--through the fear.

So, my readers and my friends, I ask you to support us both with your prayers for strength, life and courage.  I am eternally grateful!

To My Long-Time Friend
(Whom I Met Just Recently)

We are long-time friends, you and I,
Who met just recently.
Pasts and futures acknowledged
As one impacting play
Of knowing,
Forgetting,
Remembering.

Universes have we traveled together,
And many we wandered alone.
Yet in the heart-search that urged
Us forward
We have felt the closeness of our Spirits.

Whatever paths we ultimately may follow
As once again we seek our
Self-direction,
Our eyes now lock in single embrace,
A mutual eternity.

And in this now-moment we
Laugh again,
Cry again,
Love again—

I love you
My long-time Friend
Whom I met just recently!

Written for Shawn
February 1983

Where Have the Mentors Gone?

I suddenly realized that all of my mentors were gone!

I am not sure what prompted the realization.  It may have been out of some shadow in a dream I had just as I awakened from a nap.  In any case I found myself thinking of the major mentors I have had in my life, all of them physically gone now.  At the same moment I felt the loss and the deep value their lives and example had on me.

I do not remember whether as a young child I had mentors.  I know I had “heroes.”  Heroes are somehow different from mentors.  Heroes come in uniforms, like Superman and Batman, the Green Hornet—icons like that.  Mentors, on the other hand, are often the ordinary humans who stand out in our experiences, people we look up to.  They may seem like everyday people when viewed by others, but to me, they are special.

It was while in seminary that I discovered my first mentor.  Ed Rabel was a fellow student, several years ahead of me.  He was already an extraordinary and insightful person who had grasped a unique understanding of the secret doctrines tucked away within the covers of the Bible.  His ability to take well-known allegories, parables and characterizations and weave them into everyday life experiences brought a guiding light to my heart and mind.  His path to understanding the Bible led to his becoming a singular authority on metaphysical Bible interpretation at Unity School.  He took the Bible out of the past and into today using the stories as templates for how the interactions of our thinking and feeling created both our challenges and the means to overcome them.  He was a great friend and teacher who also shared his love of music with me.  I thank him in large part for my appreciation of the classics.

My second mentor, James Dillet Freeman, was the Director of Ministerial Training at Unity School.  I had the privilege of serving as his secretary for two years while preparing for my student years.  He personally tutored me in philosophy, comparative religion and public speaking.  As Poet Laureate of Unity he was the author of numerous books and poems that brought inspiration and hope to millions of readers.  He and his wife, Billie, were the God Parents of my son, David.  Astronaut James Irwin on Apollo Flight 15 took his poem, I Am There, to the moon.  Earlier, on Apollo Flight 11, his Prayer for Protection was on the first moon landing.  Here is that prayer:

The Light of God surrounds me;

The Love of God enfolds me;

The Power of God protects me;

The Presence of God watches over me;

Wherever I am God is!

From Mr. Freeman I learned to view different possibilities when considering decisions.  Sometimes we would spend what seemed like hours debating some subject.  He would lead me on in the debate until I almost reached a point of agreement with him.  Then, he would switch sides and force me to support the opposite.  This invaluable exercise provided me with practical understanding of and appreciation for the views other people might hold on any given matter.

As I viewed these important people in my life I realized I still have mentors.  They guide me in different ways than when I was embarking upon my education and career in the ministry.  Now my mentors are the friends I hold dear, those who support me, but also who care enough to tell me when I fail to maintain my objectivity.  Thank goodness for these new mentors.  As we age it is very easy to become more entrenched in our attitudes, beliefs and actions.  In and of itself this is not a bad thing.  However, if we become more isolated and disengaged from our relationships with others, we may lose sight of those who care about us and who want to be a part of our lives.

So, I choose to not lose sight of these new mentors in my life.

  

True Wealth

For me my true wealth consists of my relationships—family, friends and associates. I consider myself truly rich in this regard. The Friday after Thanksgiving, as I listened to the broadcast of Andre Rieu in Vienna and the Johann Strauss Orchestra and Choir on public television, the music enveloped me in a blanket of warmth, joy and thankfulness. I thought of my family, friends and the associates who have particularly blessed my life in the past year. Some of these persons probably do not know just how they have brought light into my life. I determined to mention a few of these professionals, whom I consider to be associates and friends, and share them with you. They appear in alphabetical order.

Raven Dana, Certified Life Coach and Clinical Handwriting Analyst.
I have known Raven for 30 years. She was active in the Whole Life Learning Center in Denver. While she says she considers me one of her mentors, after her 29 years of experience I now look to her as one of my mentors. I can count on her for unvarnished comment on whatever I write, consistently adding new perspectives. She keeps me honest in my effort to tell it like it is! Raven is the founder/director of Stress Wizard Coaching. Find out more at: http://www.stresswizardcoaching.com/

Jan Engles-Smith, Shamanic practitioner, counselor and former science teacher. I first met Jan when I attended one of her introductory classes. The meditation exercise she led took me to a deep healing place that I have never forgotten. Her wonderful support through our exchanges of communication reminds me that there are special people who care. She serves her students through a native American wisdom and concern for the well-being of the planet. She is the founder/director of Lightsong School of Shamanic Studies.

Find out more at: http://www.janengelssmith.com/

Katherine Jansen-Byrkit, M.P.H., L.P.C., Individual, Couple and Family Therapist through her practice, Innergy. In my intensive work with Katherine she skillfully unlocked my inner self and provided the opportunity for me to begin the long journey back to loving and accepting myself. To say I am grateful is not enough, but appreciation is surely given. I continue to seek to honor the self-image I am discovering. Find out more at: http://innergyonline.com/

Kathlyn Kingdon, exceptional channel for Master Djwhal Khul. I experienced Kathlyn and Master Khul just this October in a weekend workshop in Denver. This is another step in my opening to the infinite wisdom that enfolds us all. When truth dawns we realize it has been with us always often hidden beneath the veil of fear and doubt. As the veil parts our souls are reclaimed in their spiritual glory.

I was given Kathlyn’s book, The Matter Of Mind, by a long time friend, Pam McKinnie. Pam is the founder/president of Concepts Unlimited, a full service advertising agency that provides “thoughtful design.” Our paths have crossed from time to time for many years—always an insightful and supportive time. She is a participant in the Vajra Flame Foundation, which promotes the work of Master Khul. For more about Vajra Flame: http://www.vajraflame.org/
For information on Concepts Unlimited: http://www.conceptsunlimitedinc.com/

Jacqueline Sinke, certified Health Fitness Specialist with over 16 years of professional fitness experience. She is the owner of Fitness & Function. For all the “spiritual” seeking one might do, it is also necessary to pay attention to the physical body. (Who says that isn’t spiritual too?) I have been taking Jacqueline’s Ageless Conditioning class for three years and I am still alive to tell about it! She specializes in senior conditioning and well-being, though she also works with businesses and individuals to develop personalized fitness programs. She was particularly supportive during my heart repair work in July. For more information: http://www.fitnessandfunction.com/door/

These are a few of the professionals in my life for whom I am grateful. I consider them each a part of my true wealth. They have all helped me move forward, especially in times when I am inclined to fall backward. So, I wish them success in all they do and rich and rewarding lives. I encourage you to visit their websites and wherever possible I hope you might avail yourself of their services.

Living In the Cubicle

A majority of offices these days are semi-open cubicles rather than individual closed offices. Some companies even have moved their executives into cubicles just like the staff (albeit in somewhat larger cubicles!).

Beyond what you may experience in your workplace, do you ever get the feeling that you are living your whole life in a kind of cubicle? There are windows through which you can look out at your world but not really participate in what is going on “out there.” Sometimes, we may actually see this as a way to protect ourselves from having to be involved.

I began to think about the idea of living in a cubicle after reading an email from a friend who recounted a gathering recently attended where it seemed each person had some particularly difficult experience they were currently facing. I suddenly imagined how life sometimes is like that cubicle and how it seems that the windows are closing up and becoming walls. We feel isolated from whatever the view had been through that now closed window. Then I imagined that I turned around and, behold, there was another window! The view was different. It was refreshing. It was colorful. It was all the things the previous window/view had lost.

I was reminded of the time-honored saying: When one door closes, another opens. I also remembered the words from Revelation: Behold, I have set before you an open door, which none can close. (Rev.3:8). When, or if, we come upon that feeling of being closed in, cut off from others, hopefully we will remember to turn our attention to new viewpoints. There are always options available to us when it comes to how we view our lives. As one view closes, look to the new, open doors. When you feel alone or are experiencing a loss of some kind, remember you are not alone. A new viewpoint offers new resources, whether they are new friends, a new environment, a new job or simply a refreshed sense of self. Never accept the supposed limitations of the cubicle in which you may find yourself.

Personally, I am grateful for new viewpoints that bring new opportunities and new friends. It feels even better when they are not replacements but additions.

Wishing you the best for Thanksgiving, and always!

What Friends Do

Once again Daryn Kagan shares another great story (I get them every day from her website). This particular story struck me because back on March 1, 2008 I posted a story I read about in the Oregonian that day. (When People Do Nice Things for Each Other) Daryn’s story is about two childhood friends who continued their close relationship into young adulthood when one of them was diagnosed with a brain tumor. Rather than be overwhelmed and at a loss as to what to do, a support project was started that resulted in the development of a special website that gives everyone a way to help others. The story is well worth a read, and perhaps, even participation on your part if you have a friend in need or just want to be a blessing to another person. You can check out Karyn’s piece at: Watch Video >>

You can also go directly to the website at:

Helping friends when it's needed most

When a life-changing event happens, friends and family want to help! The WhatFriendsDo.com webtool is a FREE website that can help family and friends form a "Team" and respond in an organized and helpful way. Helping a friend through a life-changing event involves lending a hand with meals, transportation and other tasks. These events also call for understanding, love and uplifting support.