Writing is an interesting process for me, as I imagine it is for other writers as well. I seldom simply sit down and write. What often happens these days is that I will take time for meditation, lie down for a nap or go to bed and immediately my mind flows with ideas developed in full form, words and phrases eloquently arranged to produce true gems of enlightenment. “So,” you might say, “where are these gems you supposedly are capturing?” Well, the truth is that as profound as they seem when I first experience them, they are mostly gone by the time I get to the computer.
Even what I am writing right now is nothing like it was fifteen minutes ago when I lay down for a nap. It is frustrating! There are things I really do need to be clear about, things I want to say. There are insights I have gained during my “sabbatical” that I think would be of interest to others. Part of that frustration comes from why I write in the first place.
First, I write for myself. I have found, for the most part, that the process of putting words together helps me clarify what I am feeling, thinking and experiencing. Getting ideas out of the fuzzy corners of the mind and onto paper seems to give them a kind of solidity, something tangible that can be handled, played with and molded into something with a degree of specificity that may address an issue I am attempting to resolve.
Second, I write because it is very satisfying to feel the sense of productivity that comes from actually starting and completing a project. There are so many things in my life that I have started with good intentions but never really brought to completion. Therefore, that sense of satisfaction that comes from something well done, often was never fully experienced.
Finally, I write because I do not think I am the only person in the world that deals with certain issues, relationships, success/failure or any of the other things that come up in our lives. Maybe what I discover and write about will be said in just the right way to help someone else deal with his/her own struggles. If that happens, it is frosting on the cake for me, something extra that I could not experience otherwise.
So, here I am, posting another effort at communicating which is not exactly what I wanted to say. I promise that I am working on writing about my March “sabbatical” as I assured you I would. One thing I have come to realize, at least in the beginning phases, is that without a task there is no transformation. I began the task of my journey asking, “Why am I on this quest? Do I really care about my physical existence? How can I find out? How can I solidify my feeling for life?”
Coming up later: Another look at forgiveness and how completely we must embrace it. This is a real toughie for many of us.