tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7085436961473537626.post4477542914828433514..comments2023-05-02T02:57:10.122-07:00Comments on LifeCentering: Rules of EngagementDanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16922205386878237678noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7085436961473537626.post-25471941112589254132010-09-25T07:59:55.678-07:002010-09-25T07:59:55.678-07:00Inspector & Raven: Nice discussion in which y...Inspector & Raven: Nice discussion in which you each have good points. I am not sure I see a lack of clarity as much as perhaps viewing from a different perspective. Maybe my comment here is a cop out in terms of wanting you both to "win!" --NOT!Danhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16922205386878237678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7085436961473537626.post-66255398061393113682010-09-25T05:22:16.786-07:002010-09-25T05:22:16.786-07:00Dan and Raven:
It, once again, appears that my le...Dan and Raven:<br /><br />It, once again, appears that my less than artful use of the English language, and less than coherent organization and lack of structure in my comment, has led to this confusion.<br /><br />Let me see if I can restate my point, and make it clearer. As a general proposition, I see no reason why people, on a day-to-day basis in civilized society, should be afraid of one another, particularly if it is broad daylight and there are many other people in the vicinity. <br /><br />To avoid affirmative interaction with those who are different from us, or who have different views, deprives us of an opportunity to learn something new, and work in a collaborative fashion to society's long term positive benefit.Inspector Clouseauhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09373932797333038561noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7085436961473537626.post-40758248920219650472010-09-22T13:55:06.434-07:002010-09-22T13:55:06.434-07:00From Raven Dana--
Clouseau wrote about my comment:...From Raven Dana--<br />Clouseau wrote about my comment: “To suggest that we should not try to consciously override fear, especially in situations which are not life threatening, is an interesting position for someone to take.”<br /><br />That is not the 'position' I took, but see that it is your interpretation of what I wrote. So.. actually, the body does not distinguish between 'real' threat and an imagined one, so only in EXTREME immediate threat do we engage that part of the brain that triggers pure unconscious survival reaction, ALL the rest of the time whether the survival fear is imagined or not the fear reaction is the same. My point is this:...understanding the fear-and having compassion for the fearful, not 'justifying' the fear... not making the fearful wrong... not assuming/imagining that fearful people actually understand their own fearfulness and ‘should’ resist the fear...seems to me to be a more useful place to come from.Raven Dananoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7085436961473537626.post-87567911598389309092010-09-22T08:46:22.897-07:002010-09-22T08:46:22.897-07:00Thanks, Inspector, for the continuing dialogue. I...Thanks, Inspector, for the continuing dialogue. It seems to me that from the interplay of opinions we can find a path that satisfies our own needs for positive resolution. While I may not speak to anyone in a crowded elevator, I might in the jungle situation if my life depended on it. Hmmmm. Maybe swe should move to the jungle for awhile.Danhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16922205386878237678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7085436961473537626.post-19775483617456755492010-09-21T21:07:27.966-07:002010-09-21T21:07:27.966-07:00Dan:
I'm glad that I came back and took anoth...Dan:<br /><br />I'm glad that I came back and took another look at this, in order to view the comment of Raven Dana.<br /><br />I am in absolute agreement regarding the hard-wiring aspect of fear. All of the comments about survival are absolutely appropriate.<br /><br />However, we also know that a different part of the brain kicks in during EXTREME SITUATIONS when humans need to survive. To suggest that we should not try to consciously override fear, especially in situations which are not life threatening, is an interesting position for someone to take.<br /><br />It's as if we're providing people with a reason or justification for their fearful behavior in a civilized society.<br /><br />There are very few things which the typical American citizen encounters on a daily basis in a typical city which should trigger the fear factor. We usually know in advance if we are about to approach a dangerous situation, and avoid it, or take steps to protect ourselves.<br /><br />Why should someone standing in an elevator with 13 others, during the day time, in a busy office building, be fearful of engaging anyone in that elevator in a conversation? If they were out in the jungle, it might be different.<br /><br />I believe that you previously read our piece entitled, "Racism, While Problematic, Serves a Pragmatic and Utilitarian Function." We argued that racism has biological / genetic and survival underpinnings. In fact, we further argued that by understanding that, we might be able to craft some different approaches and solutions to racism.<br /><br />The same analogy applies to fear.<br /><br />We're sorry that Dana chose to view our suggestion for a new construct to be "absurd." But then again, folks are entitled to their opinion, and can engage in making subjective evaluations if they feel that it works for them.<br /><br />We can always use more positive approaches to problems.Inspector Clouseauhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09373932797333038561noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7085436961473537626.post-42182713613056546742010-09-12T09:26:21.994-07:002010-09-12T09:26:21.994-07:00Forwarded to me by Raven.
OK Here’s my take:
Real...Forwarded to me by Raven.<br />OK Here’s my take:<br /><br />Real fear of ‘engaging’ is actually fear for our survival. It is ancient, hard-wired and depending on the circumstances, can be nearly impossible to override. To think that fear of anything is a ‘sin’ is honestly one of the most absurd ideas I’ve come across in a long time. When presented with what we as humans automatically do not trust, including…strangers, people who look/talk different than we do, a new country-what we find is an true biological directive, which in most cases serves us-and our survival.<br /><br />So we can also mistake culturally induced fears for REAL threats to our survival, such as- dare I say it- a new air of distrust within our own country that is being fostered and fed by media from all directions.<br /><br />When fears are excited by culture, even when overblown and exaggerated, then fear will make us suspicious, isolated, and unfortunately, thereby unable to find the trustworthy and helpful people among the ‘suspects’.<br /><br />We are living in a culture in which dishonesty is the norm-from the top down, a culture that is constantly becoming increasingly ‘loner’ oriented, with email and text messaging replacing face time, with computers and Wii replacing outdoor play time, and with families in which both parents MUST work-just to pay the bills. There is a good reason that we are suspicious of each other, when the nightly news focuses on the crimes, the neighborhood pedophiles, and when prime time is absolutely filled to the rafters with fear evoking crime drama’s. And sure, even though the good guys usually ‘win’, we are left with a culture of fear in which even at the airports we hear announcements to report ‘suspicious behavior’ and have to take off our shoes to pass through security. <br /><br />So YES, fear of others is definitely created and held in place by our culture and our overdependence on technology alone to solve our problems. It is only kinder, calmer, smarter people than can reach out from the edges and consciously make an effort to touch the lives of those who have become irrationally afraid. Rather than criticize and condemn the fearful people, perhaps a better course would be to offer a hand-repeatedly-until the fearful can realize that they are being offered kindness rather than a backhanded slap.<br /><br />Raven Dana<br />Stress Wizard CoachingDanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16922205386878237678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7085436961473537626.post-30731360931244994602010-09-11T18:51:24.705-07:002010-09-11T18:51:24.705-07:00Absolutely. However, when conditions are especial...Absolutely. However, when conditions are especially tough and discouragement and fear set in, some may feel the need for an external "leader" who tells them who is to blame. Then they have something to fight, thus negativity is the result before they know what hit them.Danhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16922205386878237678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7085436961473537626.post-9851532729773129762010-09-11T18:32:59.157-07:002010-09-11T18:32:59.157-07:00The operative word in your piece Dan is "posi...The operative word in your piece Dan is "positively." Although some have obviously figured out that negativity works on a static basis and for the short term, why people would want to dwell in the sphere for very long is beyond me. It's ultimately counter-productive and destructive.Inspector Clouseauhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09373932797333038561noreply@blogger.com